Hand Sheriff Balaam a Screwdriver
It seems the powers that be in Washoe County and the City of Sparks have backed themselves into another deliciously cringeworthy corner regarding senior safety and political shenanigans at the Sparks Senior Center.
The saga begins with an incident of illegal sign-snatching at the Sparks Senior Center committed by a Washoe County employee back on May 16, 2024. The unmitigated gall of removing Sparks City Council Ward 1 candidate Chris Garvey’s prime campaign sign real estate from private property. And the odd occurrence Washoe County allowed then candidate Commissioner Mariluz Garcia’s sign to stay in the same spot in 2022.
But of course, expecting accountability from our esteemed public servants is akin to asking a rottweiler to de-fang itself. Instead of a mea culpa, we get the "pass the camera" runaround - with the City of Sparks punting to the County, the County shrugging it back to the City of Sparks, with Sparks pointing to a useless Parks & Rec video surveillance camera across the street. Delightful.
We give the City of Sparks credit for being transparent about the cameras, while providing the Parks & Rec video, and attempting to fulfill Candidate Garvey’s public record request, unlike Washoe County who are mute after being asked about the surveillance signs.
There are two poles with signs at the Senior Center that say “This Area Is Under 24-Hour Video Surveillance.” Let us get this straight - those "Ye Olde Securitie Cam-rah" signs adorning the senior center parking stanchions are, how you say, complete mendacity? Utter bamboozlement designed to hoodwink our most vulnerable abuelitos into a false sense of safety? Shame on Washoe County, and we question why the Human Services Agency even pretends to be the protector of seniors. The best HSA can offer seniors is serving them dry meatballs via a third-party vendor.
We can only imagine the existential roil roaring through Commissioner Mike Clark as he received confirmation of this security omission from the Washoe County District Attorney’s Office and Washoe County security tzar Ben West themselves. So close to the vaunted truth, yet still meters away from any transparent admissions or remedial actions. Taking down those deceitful signs would be merciful, but abuela's peace of mind is temporarily Kryptonite to the county's PR Department.
Speaking of which, where the blazes are Washoe's self-appointed senior advocacy squads in all this? Mayor Ed Lawson is evidently too preoccupied ranting on social media to demand straight answers. His bestie Commissioner Clara Andriola seemingly can't pry herself from photo-ops cuddling with elderly props long enough to investigate actual elder safeguards.
Then we've got Don "Momma Donna" Abbott, practically a non-player despite his vaunted memberships on all those senior boards. He and fellow geriatric rights champion Commission Chair Alexis Hill should be rallying the troops at the City of Sparks and Washoe County. But no, once again they only haul their elderly senior props out for empty calorie publicity stunts over authentically valuable advocacy. You know, “vote for us because we take care of our elderly parents.” Next time you see Alexis or Donald with their mom’s head on over and ask why this shame of security continue so long, and we mean “ask their moms” for the explanation.
Not to be outdone, new fan favorite Sheriff Darin Balaam is making the outreach rounds, authoring mailers hyping endorsements for Andriola and safety ambassadors like Kristopher Dahir, you know the guy who allows voters to think he’s a veteran (he’s not). Uhh, might wanna circle back on that whole senior center surveillance issue there, Smokey. Since, ya know, the lack of actual protection kinda negates your expert testimony? We realize Balaam doesn’t have a great senior track record.
But who can blame these stalwart public servants for serving up another heaping portion of bureaucratic enmeshment and deflection? Admitting fault and demanding transparent remedies requires backbone - a tragic nut allergy plaguing most incumbent politicians.
Ah, the toothless catharsis of fighting City Hall when the whole damned chamber is nailed shut.
Still, one can't help but admire the civic mastery of advertising non-existent security, denying culpability, and leaving our treasured elderly wards hung out to dry. If only our electiles dedicated half as much effort into genuine advocacy as they do to these performances of compassionate governance.
And so, the tragicomic carousel spins on, abandoning disenfranchised demographics in favor of hollow political theater and playground deflections. Wake us when someone - anyone - decides locating those missing or non-working cameras deserves top municipal priority over petty power games. Oh, and can someone hand Sheriff Darin Balaam a screwdriver and the problem would be over in a few twists. Take the signs down.
