Washoe County Has Yet Another Self-Clearing Investigation

In another stunning display of bureaucratic theater, Washoe County has once again investigated itself and—surprise!—found absolutely nothing wrong. Who needs independent oversight when you can grade your own homework?

Instead of hiring an outside firm for actual unbiased scrutiny, the County opted for the tried-and-true method of looking in the mirror and declaring itself the fairest of them all. It's like asking a kindergarten class to investigate who ate all the cookies, then accepting their chocolate-smeared assurance that the culprit remains a mystery.

The verdict? "All clear!" declares Washoe County to Washoe County, in what might be the least shocking plot twist of 2024. Rest assured, citizens—they've thoroughly investigated themselves and determined they're doing a fantastic job. How comforting.

Download from Transparent Nevada Washoe County Salaries and Benefits. 

Perhaps next time they'll audit their audit of their audit, just to be extra thorough.

But the ultimate question, Who Watches the Watchers?

In a masterclass of bureaucratic self-back-patting, Assistant County Manager Kate Thomas and Chief Information Officer Behzad Zamanian—who apparently believes commuting from Southern California is the new normal—sprang into action to investigate... themselves.

The catalyst? A pesky public comment about potential security breaches. But fear not, citizens! Our highly compensated officials have thoroughly investigated their own work and—hold onto your tax dollars—determined everything is just peachy.

November 25, 2024 Email from Kate Thomas. 

Picture this: The fox not only guards the henhouse but also writes the security report, all while living in another state. Yet we're supposed to sleep soundly knowing our digital fortress is secure because the very people responsible for its protection say so.

Coming up next season: Washoe County officials award themselves gold stars for excellence in self-investigation. Spoiler alert: They all pass with flying colors.

Rest easy, residents. The people in charge of the system have checked the system and assure us the system works perfectly. What could possibly go wrong?